February 17th, 2022, 1:34pm

Entry #19: Removing The Obstacles

Dear Aspiring Mama,

Over the course of the last few weeks I have asked you to set the foundation for your journey to motherhood, invited you to declare your dream, and clearly identify where you are in life right now. 

Today we will begin clearing the way between where you are and wish to be. 

It will require courage and a level of honesty that will most likely feel uncomfortable—then again, you’ve agreed to being uncomfortable and doing it anyways, remember?

We must look at one of the biggest obstacles toward achieving your dreams: the story in your head about what you wish was true about your life. 

Answer this: What’s the story in your head about where you think you should be or wish you were in life?

Typing this question makes my insides cramp up. This is not easy. 

Grab a few sheets of loose leaf paper, I don’t want you writing this in your journal (I’ll tell you why after). Or if you do choose to write in a journal, be prepared to rip out that story soon!

A box of tissues may also come in handy if you’re feeling a little emotional already or the Flo App just sent you a notification that you’ll be starting your period in 3 days. We are about to go deep.

Now tell me, what’s that story?

Do you wish you were already a mom? 

Did you think this would have happened for you years ago?

Is your relationship (or lack thereof) not what you thought it would be?

Are you living somewhere that looks completely different than that beautiful home on the vision board you created a few years back?

Do you wake up wondering where the body that used to be able to drink and party all night and hit up a 7am spin class has gone? 

Is there a global pandemic preventing you from hugging your best friend, going to the gym, putting your business in jeopardy, and fucking with your mental health? 

Start by writing “I wish…” or “I feel I should…” on the top of the page and start making a list of whatever comes to mind.

Let whatever comes up show up. This is a judgement free zone. Let it out. The act of doing so will be therapeutic. 

If writing feels too heavy, tell the story. Use the Voice Memo app to record it. 

Got it? Great. 

I recommend that you do this in one sitting or session. If you can’t do it now, set a time when you can let everything out. 

I redid this exercise a few days ago on a full moon and was menstruating—a perfect time for releasing!

Destroy & Release Your Story

Once you have written or spoken everything that you “wish was” or think “should be,” it is time to destroy it and release all that is not true. 

First: Be Willing To Accept Your Life Just As It Is

But before you do, you must first be willing to step into radical acceptance of where you are. Not only accept some parts and not others.

You must be willing to accept everything you are and have in life.

This doesn’t mean you don’t want to make improvements, it means however, that you are willing to start from where you are instead of waste any more time stuck in wishful thinking. 

Ask yourself: Am I willing to fully accept where I am in life as I am and as I am not? 

If the answer is no, own that. There may be deeper work needed to be done before you move on. And trust me, there is no point in moving forward if you are going to carry heavy baggage of woulda, coulda, shoulda. These will only weigh you down!

If we were working together 1:1 or in a group setting, I would have us review this more thoroughly to access if there is anything that needs to be addressed. If you need support or want to enhance your journey to motherhood and explore working together, fill out this form here. 

Willing to accept where you are? AMEN!

Acceptance Gets You Back On The Road

Picture this step of acceptance as you would if you had driven your car off the side of the road into a ditch. If you are truly committed to getting back on the road and keep moving to your destination, you would call a towing company and tell them exactly where you were. They would come, pull your car out, and get you back on the road as quickly as possible. 

If you are in a mindset of acceptance, you will waste no time wishing things were different but instead adopt a proactive attitude. 

On the other hand, avoiding acceptance is like being in a ditch and wishing you weren’t. You may wait before calling the towing company to feel sorry for yourself or call, get back on the road, but spend the rest of the drive saying how much you wish you hadn’t steered off course—which is such a bore. 

Say that you are 38, single, and no prospects in sight. You can choose to accept this lovingly in the name of what you want for your future. Or keep wishing your ex was different or keep telling yourself that you should be married by now with kids. You and I both know this won’t bring you closer to fulfilling your dream of motherhood—or much else.

Keep your head up high. 

You are where you are. It is the ONLY place we can start from. 

I’m not interested in the fantasy in your head, I’m interested in the story that you are now creating for yourself and your life. How about you?

With love & light,

Melissa