Dear Aspiring Mama: The 6 Coaching Agreements

19 Jan Dear Aspiring Mama: The 6 Coaching Agreements

Posted at 20:12h in Aspiring Mama, Motherhood by melissacolleret 0 Comments

Entry #13: The 6 Coaching Agreements

January 19th, 2022, 1:28pm

Dear Aspiring Mama, we are about to review the 6 Coaching Agreements for your journey to motherhood.

But before we do, make sure you have the time and space to read this entry fully as there is an exercise at the end of the page that will set your journey to motherhood in motion. And one day, you’ll look back in amazement. Today is an important day.

Crank up the volume. Let loose. And let’s go!

I want to celebrate you for coming this far! We have covered the 6 Fundamental Principles (listed below in case you missed any.)

The 6 Fundamental Principles:

Get ready to board the plane to motherhood

It’s another snowy day here in the Laurentians. The coniferous trees are holding a lot right now—and I bet that you are too. Like the trees, allow what you can not hold gracefully fall to the ground. You don’t need to hold it all.

In fact, you can also surrender to the seasonal theme of rest and hibernation. Slow things down a little, or a lot. You can wrap yourself up in a blanket just as the snow has wrapped everything around me.

And if you’re craving a break from winter, that’s ok too. I’d also like to be walking bear feet on a sandy beach and catching a sunset in my bikini. And although winter is a season with more gifts than we often allow it to give to us, what we are about to get into today is the last piece of setting the groundwork for your journey to motherhood. So get ready to pack your bags because starting tomorrow, the adventure of a lifetime takes off!

But you know that before boarding a plane or taking off, there are a ton of check points to confirm who you are, where you are going, and how to exit were the plane to crash. This is kind of what we are about to dive into today, except there are no lineups and it’s going to be a lot quicker and painless.

The 6 Fundamental Principles lay the foundation and the 6 Coaching Agreements below take it up a notch.

So without further ado, let’s review the 6 Coaching Agreements for the time we will spend together on your journey to motherhood.

Agreement #1: You’re ready to put your desire for motherhood first

Up until this point in your life, you may have been encouraged “not to worry” about becoming a mom. Told—by others or your monkey mind—to “focus on your career” or that “you’ve got plenty of time” or something of that nature which has supported the idea that your desire for becoming a mom shouldn’t be embraced and tended with love and intentional focus.

As of now, I welcome and encourage you to fully step into your desire—even if it feels so out of reach or you may not be 100% certain whether you truly want to become a mom.

Go all in. *See exercise at the bottom of the page.

Welcome the possibility that everything you desire is waiting for you. And that it is even better than you could have imagined.

Keep room for the ideas that you currently have around motherhood to be challenged, expanded, transformed, and aligned to your true nature such that in fully stepping into this journey you will become a fully expressed version of yourself and birth the creations—human or otherwise—that you were born to bring forward into this world.

What do you have to lose? The conversation around motherhood often focuses on what women will “lose” when becoming a mom: their bodies, identities, time, energy, sleep, fun, basic hygienic practices, and I’ll go as far as say that freedom is often included in this list. It’s fucked.

Worse case, at the end of our time together you will go back to living your life just as it was. You’ll have spent time reading these posts and getting to know yourself more. You’ll have gone on an adventure of the soul at a time when travel is quite literally limited.

Now think about everything you have to gain.

There are not enough words in the dictionary for me to express what I have gained out of becoming a mom.

Agreement #2: You’re coachable

Remember the wax on, wax off scene from the Karate Kid?

Karate teacher, Miyagi asks Daniel to first wash his car and to then wax on with his right hand and wax off with his left hand.

Puzzled, Daniel questions why he has to do this and just as he does, Miyagi interrupts and reminds him of his commitment to learn karate.

“Wax on. Wax off. Remember to breath. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. Wax on. Wax off. Don’t forget to breath. Very important.” He says before walking away repeating Daniel’s new mantra—and tedious task instructions—wax on, wax off—and leaving his student to his practice.

Days later, once Daniel has reached his breaking point, he challenges Miyagi again.

“For four days I’ve been busting my ass and I haven’t learnt a goddamn thing.”

Not everything is as seems, replies Miyagi calmly.

Oh bullshit. I’m going home.

Miyagi goes on to show his frustrated student how the seemingly mundane and unrelated tasks were actually all connected to what he came to learn, karate.

We are sometimes asked to do things and do not see nor understand the reasoning. However, when coming from a trusted source, we do the thing with faith that it will take us where we are called to go.

Trust The GPS

Similar to using a GPS, you trust it to guide you to your desired destination, step by step. Imagine how draining it would be to question every single move. It would be treacherous.

Which is why we enter our desired destination and current location accurately into a GPS before letting it do its thing—all while we, the driver, keep our hands on the steering wheel and eyes on the road. The GPS doesn’t drive us, it simply guides us so that we can get to where we want to go with more ease, and take the scenic route if we so choose.

This is what being coachable looks like.

You must be willing to wax on, wax off, trust the GPS, even if you don’t understand why, yet. I promise that one day soon you will look back and connect the dots just as Daniel did back on screen in the 80s.

That being said, this doesn’t mean that you can’t challenge me or should follow in blind faith. This is a 200% relationship. I’m 100% committed to your success and I expect you to be as well. And why the 6 coaching agreements are so important, they are necessary requisites before using the GPS!

Agreement #3: Ask questions. Provide feedback.

My job as a coach is to support you in realizing your full potential. I’m not here to add anything. Rather, create the space for your true self to be fully expressed.

We are all born with the seed of endless potential. Just as the apple seed has the potential to become a magnificent tree, bearing crisp, juicy fruit, you too have magnificence yet to be expressed. Being coachable is about you anchoring into the ground with the desire to see your magnificence blossom and bear your fruits.

Play Full Out

One more thing about being coachable: You are the one on the field playing your game of life, play full out!

I grew up watching basketball during the era of Michael Jordan’s dominance.

I watched the Flu Game, Game 5 of the NBA finals where Jordan recorded 38 points, seven rebounds, five assists and three steals while he had the flu. The Bulls would go on to win the championship in the following game.

Phil Jackson was Jordan’s coach. He led the Bulls to win 6 championships using his holistic approach to coaching, influenced by Eastern philosophy and Native American spiritual practices. He coached Jordan and his teammates from the sidelines and between games, but he never took the shots for them. Jordan laced his own Air Jordans and let it out on the court. Jackson’s job was to create the space and the framework for him play his best game every game.

I’ll be my own version of Phil.

Be your version of Mike.

Let’s play ball 😉

Agreement #4: You’re willing to be uncomfortable and do it anyway

I’m wearing a cozy grey jumpsuit. The one I wore for the final months of pregnancy and ever since. It is incredibly soft, light weight, and comfortable.

I’m also writing from the couch. My dog, Bali, is sleeping next to me—he typically isn’t allowed on our beige couch, but he and I break the rules from time to time. I have my favourite blanket keeping my lower body warm and a pair of my partner’s merino wool socks on my feet.

I am comfortable.

BUT our journey together isn’t meant to be like my jumpsuit, couch, blanket, or socks. It is expected to be challenging, eye opening, and uncomfortable.

This experience will transform your life. Completely.

It will be hard at times.

You may want to throw in the towel.

Think of giving up.

Tell me to fuck off.

Want to hide.

Feel the pain you’ve buried for so long as it rises.

Cry. A lot. And often.

Wonder why the hell you’re doing this.

You may feel tired as the old you tries to hang on for dear life.

But in order to birth the new you—and become the person you need to be to birth life—you must surrender, embrace, and accept the process.

Be willing

Willing to be uncomfortable.

To go where you don’t want to yet feel that you must.

Enter the cave. I’ll be your headlamp. You are safe here.

Wearing a cozy jumpsuit for the whole damn thing is optional!

Assumption #5: Be HERE.

Be fully here.

Carve out time each day to read the latest posts. As we move forward I will guide you and invite you to complete exercises. Some in writing, most through living. Be present.

I don’t know how long our journey will be exactly as although I have a roadmap, detours are inevitable. We will go where we need to go and for as long as we need to. At the very least, we have three months to go deep. But most likely nine.

Lastly, and most importantly,

Agreement #6: Read and complete the exercises the same way you count on being a mom

You don’t have to do this perfectly. In fact, it is better if you don’t (because you can’t.) But if you treat your desire for becoming a mom with the same love and care that you know you will take care of your future children, use this experience of following the Dear Aspiring Mama series as a training ground. A place to practice embodying the mother that you are and will be.

I just got chills.

Do you accept these 6 coaching agreements? Yes! Great!

SIGN YOUR DECLARATION

Take out a blank piece of paper and write out this declaration, date it, sign it, and place it somewhere you can see:

I feel emotional and so damn PROUD OF YOU!!! I’m incredibly honoured and excited to be your guide, coach, and sacred space facilitator. This is going to be one hell of a ride and no aspiring mother will be left behind.

With so much love,

Melissa