January 28th, 2022: 4 Ways To Awaken The Mother In You

Entry #15

1:54pm

Dear Aspiring Mama, 

Before we build upon our conversation on how to awaken the mother in you that we started in the last entry, I want to share a story that awakened the mother in me on an entirely new level.

A few nights ago I read about female infanticide, the deliberate killing of newborn female children. I sobbed in the bath tub as Lynne Twist shared the story of women who had come together to take a stand against the tradition of killing and the dowry system in Tamil Nadu, India.

Sixteen women—who had each killed at least one daughter herself, and helped other women do them same—came together to courageously share their stories and begin the process of healing and change. They initiated a movement that brought new life to the souls lost, including their own, and create a new future for women.

Their courage led to a massive shift and opened opportunities for girls and women.

But unfortunately, the battle is not entirely won. Female infanticide is still a concern in certain parts of the world. 

It makes me sick to my stomach.

While also fuels the fire in my womb.

For the souls of these daughters lost

I dedicate this entry to the souls who gave up their lives before having a chance to live. And to the mothers who had to make the unfathomable choice of smothering their daughters or abortion due to gender.

This is a harsh way to enter today’s topic. I know. But I couldn’t do it any other way. The harsh reality of what mothers and babies face still to this day is a sure way to awaken the mother in you. 

And that is why we are here. 

When a mother is awakened, the world awakens.

When a mother is awakened, the world awakens. As more women awaken to the mothers that they are and step onto the path of living the expression of motherhood that is most aligned with their soul, our world will restore harmony in ways beyond what we can imagine. And I’m here for it. Knowing very well that I won’t be here for all of it, but right now, it feels like this is my part to play.

Let’s keep waking you up

Take a few deep breaths. 

Let the tears flow and feel whatever feelings I have just stirred up in you. It took me quite some time to come out of the tub the other night. So do not feel rushed. 

*I am not well informed enough about matters of infanticide to provide you with tools to end it, however if you wish to dig into this more, I highly recommend that you read The Soul of Money. It will transform  your relationship with money and life—and this process of answering the call to motherhood is a full life transformation process. We will dig into money at a later date, but your soul, your soul is always on the menu. 

Awaken The Mother In You For Those Who Can’t

You and I get to choose what kind of mother we want to be. It is a privilege and responsibility that not all women are yet blessed with.

And you being here right now is nothing short of a miracle. If I could wrap my arms around you and give you the biggest hug, I would. This journey of answering your call to motherhood is not just about you, it’s about every single mother—past, current, and future. 

If things get tough, which they might, think about the souls we are representing. Keep breathing for them. Keep paving a new path for them. Be the mother their mothers did not have the freedom to be. 

Take another deep breath. 

Over the coming days and throughout your journey to and through motherhood, I invite you to explore all the ways that you are already a mother. To keep awakening all the more. 

Here are a few ways to do so:

You were born for this: a quick review of Female Biology

If we look at your desire to express motherhood by conceiving, carrying, and birthing children, you need to be in awe at incredible work of biology.

As women, we are biologically given what we need to create, birth, and sustain life. This potential has always been within you—since you were in your mother’s womb—simply waiting for the right moment to emerge. 

From our organs to our hormones, we are biologically designed to conceive, carry, birth, and raise life.

You were born with a vagina, uterus, fallopian tubes, cervix, and ovaries, and approximately one million eggs. 

By the time you hit puberty, approximately 300,000 eggs remain. 

Your first period marks the opening of a very important window.

Month after month, your body releases an egg, that travels down the fallopian tube, which waits to initiate the cycle of opening the space for the possibility of life and letting death occur when the conditions are no longer optimal. Only to start the cycle (without judgement mind you) over again each month.

When conception happens, the entire mechanism of creation is catalyzed into action and everything happens naturally.

When I was pregnant I was fascinated with how my body was able to create life. The process didn’t begin the moment my partner and I made love. Something was at play before. The egg which had descended at just the right moment to be met with sperm. Fertilized. Implanted. And cells started to multiply. What seemed to have happened out of nothing, over a period of 40 weeks, created our beautiful baby girl. 

Women should be in awe of their body’s potential. Whether we bear children or not.

Our bodies are incredible. 

Don’t wait for pregnancy to start admiring the way your body transforms, your power, and your beauty. Start marvelling at how the mechanism of life lives within and around you. Be thankful that your body does everything it can each month to provide you with the opportunity to conceive and that it does so even if you do not feel ready to or ever want to. 

Even if you have been struggling to conceive, know that your body is always on your side. Doing the best that it can to do what is best for YOU. Be gentle, kind, and patient. Tune in to your body’s whispers. It has wisdom to share with you each month if you are willing to listen. 

Let the natural processes of female biology be a constant reminder that you are:

• A creator. 
• A cyclical being. 
• Powerful. 
• A mother.

 

What Qualities Do You Wish To Embody?

Think of mothers and the qualities of motherhood that inspire you.

Make a list of every positive trait, characteristic, way of being, doing, and lifestyle detail that comes up for you.

Then answer this: 

Where can you express these qualities in your life?

And where do you already?

If you have a long list, I invite you to choose 3-5 qualities that you wish to focus on, whether you embody these already or not. Start putting these on each day just as you do a pair of socks! Wear them around and strut your stuff mama!

What are your motherhood turn-offs?

A great way to identify the mama you wanna be is to look at the qualities and traits that you do not want to embody in motherhood.

However we sometimes want to skip the part of looking at what we don’t want in the eyes out of fear that it may happen. 

The thing is, when you look at something straight in the eyes, it softens. When you ignore it, it tightens its grip—and these qualities that turn you off might be the very things that are blocking the path to the fulfillment of motherhood for you.

So look. 

Make another list by answering these questions:

What qualities, traits, ways of being, doing etc related to motherhood do you not want to express? 

Put simply: What turns you off?

Don’t be surprised if what comes up first are traits that your mother displayed (or still does). Even if you adore your mother. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Not to mention generational stories around motherhood that we can continue to write or put an end to.

This might not be comfortable.

And just because you don’t want to express these qualities doesn’t mean you won’t, but if you can be brutally honest about qualities and name your turn offs, you can better equip yourself to face these as you prepare and choose something else to take on!

Also notice the qualities of mothers portrayed in the media (social or mass) that you have been or are being exposed to. Do you want to buy into these? 

Be mindful of the information you are letting into your life. If it doesn’t align with the mother you wish to become, then be ruthless is creating boundaries. Stop watching movies and shows that feed a narrative you do not want to live into. Unfollow accounts that promote ideas that fuel fear.

I for one did not want to buy into the burnt-out, exhausted, sexually frustrated, constantly complaining about her kids, unfulfilled mother image.

Have I felt these things on my journey? Yes. 

Have I predominantly felt or felt characterized by these? Definitely not. 

You don’t have to go into great detail here. Just take note of what comes up and what you want to live into instead. We will continue filling the blank here as we move forward.

Awakening The Mother Doesn’t Mean Always Being ON.

Do you know Stephen Curry? He is an amazing basketball player. But he is also a son, husband, father, entrepreneur, and TV show host.

So despite possessing extraordinary qualities and skills as a basketball player, he does not express these in every situation. There is a time and place for him to develop and express his genius. 

This is true for every part of us. 

You are an infinite being. Do not forget this.

I am a mother. However, I do not express my motherly qualities in every situation that I am in. Take my relationship for example: I am my partner’s partner, not his mother.* Therefore, it is not appropriate for me to display my motherly qualities in that area of my life. The same way I do not put my motherly qualities to use when on a sales call. 

*Mothering partners is something I see often and it is a detriment to relationships and to the sanctity of motherhood. Whether you agree with how your partner was raised or not, it is not your responsibility to parent them. More on this another time but worth mentioning as for those who are ready to receive, this will provide the insight needed to soften and return to partnership.

I am a lot of things in addition to being a mother: a daughter, sister, coach, writer, speaker, teacher, sexy wild woman, cook, nature lover, etc. And being a mother consists of qualities, innate abilities, and skills that when combined allow for the full expression of the mother in me to shine. This is true for every other part of me.

Creating room for all aspects of me to flow and shift and have their turn under the spotlight is what makes me feel whole. 

Once you have taken note of the qualities you wish and do not wish to embody as a mother, notice if how you are expressing these in the different areas of your life. Take note of situations where it feels appropriate and where it does not. 

It might be appropriate to bring your motherly qualities to the table when taking care of your nieces for a weekend but not when your best friend comes over to have a drink and chill. 

No judgement. Just love.

This isn’t an exercise for you to judge yourself. It is simply an exercise for you to deepen your awareness and in turn own your power and celebrate the many facets of you!

Ok mama!

There are many other ways to awaken the mother in you, but I hope that these spark something in you! And that you keep opening and expanding your capacity to marvel at who you are and are becoming. Love yourself fiercely. Mother yourself. Focus on what you desire…

Speaking of desire, I am SO excited for what is coming! We will be stepping into your dream of motherhood uninhibitedly! So get ready to declare your dream and make it even more beautiful.

With so much love,

Melissa