I’m excited to share 14 of my favourite resources (websites, quotes, videos, people, and more) to help you deepen love and intimacy in your relationship!

May these serve you today and everyday moving forward!

LOVE. Isn’t it the best?

I love love.

And I’m still learning about all of its intricacies, subtleties, and gifts wrapped in lessons that at times feel like hard slaps across the face.

I’m no expert on love, but I am a devoted student and wish to be a source of love in this world.

With Valentine’s Day, I can’t help but reflect on love. I don’t care much for a box of chocolates or a dozen roses—although I do enjoy both very much. Instead, I go inward and notice what this day of “love” is inviting me to witness.

This year, I felt called to sharing some of my favourite tools and resources. All which positively impact my life and my clients’ lives.

I hope that you will find something that opens your heart a little more, deepens your love further, and expands your capacity to give and receive love.

Enjoy!

Alex and I started dating in the summer of 2018. It was intense, passionate, and filled with lessons.

In the first month or two, we faced our first tough conversation.

To reflect, I drove 45min north to Brébeuf. To a spot by the Rivière Rouge where the sand is white and people few. I sat under a hot sun and wrote these “rules for love.”

These are ever evolving and I don’t see them as rules as much as guidelines. Regardless, as I re-read them from time to time, I see how valuable they have been for me, for us.

Take what speaks to you, leave the rest.

The Erotic Blueprint

If you’re like me, you enjoy being seduced and warmed before making love. But let’s jump right in and start with a fun resource that has the potential of transforming the way you experience intimacy with your partner, The Erotic Blueprint.

There are 5 Erotic Blueprint Types:

1. Energetic
2. Sensual
3. Kinky
4. Sexual
5. Shapeshifter

And you have a unique combination of each of these! Understanding your Blueprint and inviting your partner to do the same, will not only be FUN but also eye-opening.

I mean, who doesn’t want to be turned on? We all need some good lovin’ in our lives! Take the Quiz. Thank me later. Enjoy!

The 5 Love Languages

I speak french, english, spanish, and I am an eternal student of the language of LOVE! The 5 Love Languages is a classic tool that I have shared with clients for years! There are books and a free online quiz for you to better understand your predominant Love Language.

The 5 Love Languages are:

1. Quality Time
2. Physical Touch
3. Words Of Affirmation
4. Acts Of Service
5. Receiving Gifts

Receiving Gifts is my least dominant Love Language, and for many years I made it hard for others to express their love to me in this way. When I discovered the love languages, I started noticing how I had blocked love in my life and was able to see how people expressed their love in ways different than my own, particularly with my family!

The 5 Love Languages will not only be transformative for your intimate relationships but also with friends, family, and colleagues! Check it out!

36 Questions The Lead To Love

A client introduced me to this fun New York Times quiz years ago. She shared with me that her boyfriend had pulled it out on their first date! Although she had thought it was intense at the time, looking back she saw how much it had created a connection.

It is a fun experience to do with someone you wish to create or deepen your love toward!

The Gottman Institue

I can’t remember when I first heard about Dr. John Gottman but I do remember a key point: Dr. Gottman has been able to judge the quality of a relationship based on the way a couple handles arguments.

I still find this fascinating. And as I grow (hopefully a little wiser each year) I see what he means.

The Gottman Institute offers a variety of tools and services to improve all relationships. From coaching, therapy, webinars, articles, and inspiring posts on social media too!

1,500 People Give All the Relationship Advice You’ll Ever Need

This is by far my favourite podcast episode/article on relationships! I have listened to it countless times and shared it left, right, and centre! Mark Manson knows how to give it to you straight!

Lasting

I was tempted to add Tinder and Bumble on here, but seeing that I haven’t been on the dating scene since 2018 and how quickly things change, I’ll share the app that has been the most pertinent as of late, Lasting.

Lasting is a relationship app that provides a form of therapy on your phone! I was impressed by how many insights it provided.

I suggest that you use this with your partner. However if you are in a situation where your partner doesn’t understand english, you can still get a lot out of it! And if you are into developing apps, let me know if you make this one in French!

A note on dating apps:  if you’re single and hesitant about using dating apps, I say try them. But here’s the caveat: be intentional, have clear boundaries, talk to someone on the phone before agreeing to meet in person, don’t spend weeks sending messages, get to the point, have fun, be smart. Amazing relationships have and do come from these things if you’re open to it!

Calling In The One by Katherine Woodward Thomas

If you have been following me for a while now, you may have already heard me sing my praises for this book!

Calling In The One played a significant role in changing my life between 2017-2019

I read it at a time when I was repeating toxic patterns in relationships and settling for things that weren’t aligned with what I truly wanted. It helped me clear the path, love myself, and create space for Alex to come into my life.

You may not know this, but about 9months into our relationship, Alex and I split up. To say it was difficult would be an understatement but my soul knew it was what needed to happen.

I made a conscious choice that although we had broken up, I wouldn’t let it break me. I picked up Calling In The One and worked through it with vulnerability and intention.

Three months later, Alex and I reconnected. And we slowly rebuilt the foundations for an entirely new relationship. There is no way I would have been able to open myself to creating this so powerfully were it not for doing the Calling In The One work (alongside plenty of time in nature, masterminding, disconnecting from social media completely, and Vipassana mediation). I was ALL IN.

I go back to its teachings regularly and recommend it to anyone seeking a relationship or is in one!

Attached by Amir Levine, M.D. and Rachel S. F. Heller, M.A.

A former colleague had shared an excerpt from this book years ago and I was immediately drawn in. I purchased my copy of Attached on Audible and listened on walks in the early stages of my relationship with Alex.

It provided guidance on my attachment style and better understanding on how to create a secure relationship. My partner experiences periods of anxiety and this book has helped me during what I’d call flare-ups and reminds me that it is possible to move back towards a secure attachment when I move toward anxious-avoidant.

The Queen’s Code by Alison Armstrong

This book had a big impact on my life in 2021. It was recommended by Dan Smith, more on him below. Armstrong allowed me to tap into my feminine nature and better understand the needs of men. Written as a story with characters I could easily relate to, I have been recommending this book to every woman! Seeing that a man recommended it to me, know that it is just as powerful for men too!

Check out The Queen’s Code!

Daniel Smith

Being coached by a man regarding my relationship has been transformative. Dan and I were part of the same coaching program and he offered his services at a time when I was desperately seeking support in my relationship.

The pandemic was in full force, lockdowns were taking a toll, my partner had started a new business, we had a baby, and I was trying to get my business back and running after a year on maternity leave. I needed perspective but mostly, I needed to be held and offered tools with hope.

Dan provided what I needed and more.

He is an upcoming relationship coach and I strongly recommend that you follow him on Instagram and hire him for your relationship needs!

Esther Perel

If you have yet to discover Esther Perel’s work, you are about to enter a world of relationship guidance on another level.

“Most of us are going to have two or three relationships or marriages.

And some of us are going to do it with the same person.

Your first marriage is over.

Would you like to create a second one together?”

Perel is a Belgian psychotherapist and is considered one of the top relationship experts in America. She is the author of Mating In Captivity and The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. She has spoken on the TED stage, has a popular podcast, and has countless resources available to support you on your journey.

I have not gone deep into all that Perel has to offer but what I have read, listened, and watched has all been filled with gems. From this interview with Lewis Howes to the TedTalk below, I am certain that you will find something pertinent for your situation.

Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple’s therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times! *source https://harvilleandhelen.com/about/*

The 2min video below opened up my understanding of what was coming up in my relationship, particularly when we had Alicia. May it open something for you as it did for me!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE RESOURCE FOR LOVE?

Which of the aforementioned resonates most with you?

Do you have a favourite resource that you’d like to share?

Leave a comment below!