Written July 28th, 2021

I’ll be turning 40 in a little over 40 months. It’s a beautiful summer morning to write about it and explore where you will be 40 months from now!

The sun is shining. The birds are singing. The clouds have started to show themselves as fluffy pretty shapes that allow kids’ imagination to run free from the backseat of the car on their way to the beach or amusement park today. I used to admire clouds that way. I don’t know when I stopped but I do know that I can start again. Writing about it makes me pause, look up, and explore the first cloud I see.

I’m giggling. The cloud slowly moving through the sky has big eyes. It looks like something familiar: a tarsier. A small, strange-looking primate I know very little about except for a YouTube video an ex boyfriend sent me years ago. I was sitting on the old couch in the staff room of the lululemon athletica store located on Greene Ave in Westmount. I was on my 30min break and watched the 2min video he sent me. I was in tears, laughing. And I’m still laughing just thinking about it.

Watch the video. I just did. It’s worth the break.

It always makes me laugh out loud. Worth the 2min any day! But be warned, you may fall into a rabbit hole and watch several videos on zefrank1’s channel. If you do, I recommend you watch True Facts About Morgan Freeman. You won’t regret it. Or maybe you will. Yet I’m sure you’ve wasted 2min of your life doing worse things. If it makes you laugh as much as it does me, and makes you giggle just thinking about it years later, I’d say those 2min were well worth it.

We need more 2min moments like that in our lives. 2min snippets that keep on making us laugh, smile, and remind us the importance of looking at clouds like children do. The tarsier cloud has metamorphosed into a unicorn floatie. Or more like a poodle groomed to look like Barbie’s toy dog. You’d have to be here to tell me what you think. In any case, let’s hope you’re smiling and thinking of 2min moments that keep on giving, regardless of whether they include cloud interpretations or time wasted on YouTube.

I didn’t start writing thinking we’d steer off course so quickly, yet it also feels fitting. I’m craving reconnecting to the part of myself who embraces the detours and allows the wanderer to guide the way.

Which leads me to the purpose of this post: The Road To 40.

I’ll be 40 years young in 40 months as of August 29th, 2021. I thought it was as of July 29th, however after spending the last 5min using a time between two dates online calculator and validating by counting each month by hand, I’m pretty certain that it’s as of August 29th. Am I the only one who gets confused with countdowns? Do you include the end date or not?

I suddenly feel like I’ve just been gifted an extra month! One amazing month to prepare myself for the new adventure I’m embarking on called: The Road To 40.

Why The Road To 40?

On November 29th 2024, I’ll be one month away from turning 40—I don’t want to wait till then to wake up and start thinking of everything I did or wish I had done during my 40 years around the sun. Instead, I want to wake up on the morning of my birthday feeling F-ing amazing, proud, happy, energized and tired all at once—the same kind of feeling you get after a day of snowboarding on a cold day: you walk in feeling amazing while also exhausted, yet you stay up to melt in a chair around the fire, have a few drinks with friends, or simply sit and enjoy the feeling—that’s how I want to feel.

I’ve coached several women over the years who came to me before turning 40. I noticed how important it was for them to really take charge. To clarify who they were, what they wanted, and create a plan to make it happen before the turn of this significant decade.

I saw my sister prepare herself for her 40th as soon as she turned 37. She’d often make mention of it and at times I thought; “chill out sis.” But I get it now.

My brother will be 40 in September.

My partner, Alex, celebrated his 39th birthday earlier this week. I’ve got 12 months to organize an epic party—because he deserves it!

On several occasions over the past year, my mom has told me that it’s best to take action now. Otherwise you wake up at 40 and something happens—either you finally put your foot down and do the damn thing you’ve been thinking about since your mid-30s or you don’t—and continue living with a little piece of yourself dying and hurting your vitality BIG time. She didn’t quite word it this way, but its what I heard behind her few words.

During a staycation a few weeks ago, I took time each day to work through the Create Your Motherhood process. In designing “My BIG Game”—a key element of the philosophy, I got crystal clear on my desire of having more children before 40. I don’t believe in putting pressure on ourselves when considering our desire to bear children, but I do believe in intentionality and the beauty in having a time limit to realize our dreams. The reality is, time is of the essence—just as it is in many games we play.

It is entirely possible to have children well into your 40s. I celebrate women who do! However, I have made a conscious decision to play wholeheartedly for the conception and birthing of more babies by the time I am 40—it feels good. It’s up to every woman to decide what feels good to her while also being mindful of the realities our bodies are born with.

Recently, I was checking how many months away one of my client’s is from his upcoming 6-month sabbatical we are working on creating. Afterward, I checked to see how many months until my 40th: 41 months.

WOW.

Immediately feeling the significance of the number 40 and 41 as it relates to pregnancy which typically lasts 40weeks—Alicia was born at 41 weeks—in that moment, I decided to do something. A countdown of sorts. To create an amazing journey to my 40th. Seeing it in months really puts things into perspective. Reading this article also does.

There are no coincidences in life.

What blows my mind about realizing that the 40months leading up to my 40th begins on August 29th is that it coincides with the day I embarked on the road trip across the United States back in 2016.

I can’t believe it. Yet I can, because I believe in the Universe and have a knack for finding meaning in the littlest things. Like reading about grasshopper symbolism after one sat on my client’s webcam during our entire coaching call last weekend—it was no coincidence in my eyes. Neither are these dates aligning.

I’ve been craving a similar sense of adventure as I did when I embarked on that trip. Except this time, instead of getting rid of most of my possessions, packing my tiny compact car, and driving across the USA in hope of building a new life by a surf break with Bali by my side, I am embarking on this journey in my backyard with my true desires on the surface—not hidden under the waves.

Sure I want to get back in the ocean and catch a few waves along the way. One of the key motivators for living by a surf break for a while was to learn to surf well enough that I could teach my kids one day. Well, now I have Alicia and I can’t wait to see her splashing around in the ocean. And I know that she will soon.

But what I deeply want. What I feel the yearning for in my heart, body, and soul is to conceive, carry, and birth more babies. To deepen my intimate relationship and make it the most beautiful that it can be. To share that experience more openly. And to arrive on my 40th knowing that I honoured my truth, embraced my desires, and did everything I could to make my life beautiful, wild, and true.

Icing on the cake isn’t a question of vanilla or chocolate, but rather having inspired and empowered other women to create and live their lives fully. To have powerful conversations about motherhood. To create a safe space for aspiring moms to be proud of their desire and align their lives to it. For women to create their ideal lifestyles on their way to becoming a mother and as one. To be a catalyst for change around how we view this chapter called motherhood. To stop trying to have it all at the same time and instead savour it all in it’s divine time. Ah. There is so much icing to be had. And I’m going to lick the bowl it was made in too.

But before I whip it up, I’m going to prepare for this journey in a similar way as I did back in 2016. I’m going to spend the next couple of weeks getting rid of things we don’t need and tidying up our little home—the laundry room in particular! I’m going to do a cleanse to heal my body. Do things that scare me—or in other words, start doing more of what lights me up and awakens every fibre of my being.

And I’m going to let you in on it.