January 12th, 1:51pm

Entry 8

Dear Aspiring Mama,

All I can hear is my dog’s heavy breathing and the chickpeas simmering on the stove. 

I’m on the couch. Legs extended with a pillow propping me up, and Alicia’s softest teddy bear by my side. 

Through the window in the kitchen I can see the snow falling against a backdrop of the coniferous trees already covered.

The boys are gone skiing. Alicia is napping. 

The energy is peaceful and I am savouring this moment. 

Tempting as it was to close my laptop and eyes for a nap, today we are covering an important topic: Raising your vibration to LOVE or above. The third fundamental principle for your journey to and through motherhood. 

So get cozy with me and let’s dive in!

START BAKING BREAD

Last night I showed my partner and stepson how to make bread. They each prepared a batch of their own. Following the same instructions but with their distinctive touch. 

It was beautiful to watch how unique their styles were. From how they measured the flour to whisking the ingredients to the speed at which they moved from one step to another. 

This morning we baked the bread. Each turned out different and dangerously delicious. 

As I coached them through the process, I kept reminding the importance of the energy they were bringing to the experience. Because you can truly taste it. 

If you ever tried to remake one of your mom’s recipes yet can never quite do it like she does, it probably isn’t only because you don’t use the same flour (although that can play a role.) The biggest thing missing is your mom’s touch. The energy she brings from selecting the ingredients to mixing to pouring to serving. Every step is done from her heart centre, not yours. 

Same thing for my partner and stepson’s bread today. They made with the energy at which they were vibrating at the time, and that was one of love, joy, and enthusiasm (particularly on my stepson’s part.)

And if you are hoping to have a bun in the oven in the near (or not too distant future—tomorrow we will discuss Honouring Your Natural Rhythm) you may want to start making bread. To use it as a practice for raising your vibration to one of love or above. 

THE ENERGETIC VIBRATION OF LOVE

A few years ago I watched Christie Marie Sheldon give a talk on raising your vibration, getting paid to be you, and living from a place of love or above. 

The graphic representation of the vibrational energies of different states of being and emotions stuck with me. As did the idea of being paid to be me—we will talk about money much later on our journey together. 

SHIFT YOUR ENERGY

What energy are you vibrating from most when it comes to motherhood?

Are you living from a place of love or above?

Or are you stuck in patterns of shame, guilt, and fear?

In a society that stuffs messages of hatred and fear on as many outlets as possible, it can feel difficult to break free. To raise our vibration above the mainstream. But we must. 

And one of the reasons I feel most inspired to speak to you, dearest aspiring mama, is because of how fear-based motherhood has become. Marketers thrive on women’s vulnerability by turning its beauty into something she should think is wrong. 

As I was on my journey to becoming a mom, I felt constantly bombarded by messages that I was running out of time, that I should freeze my eggs or else, that I needed to “get the guy”, and that if I didn’t get pregnant soon IVF would be my only (expensive) option. 

When I committed to living from a place of love or above, I made a conscious decision to block out the noise. Sometimes by turning off notifications, often by not engaging with media outlets at all, mostly by moving out of the city, retreating in nature, living in the most remote location I could find, surfing my heart out, deepening my meditation practice, and eliminating toxic relationships, habits, and beliefs left, right, and centre—which was by far the hardest part, albeit necessary and worth it. 

To shift your energy you may need to make some radical changes in your life. However for the most part, shifting your energy is done by taking tiny loving actions each day. Asking yourself: 

What would be the most loving thing I could do in this moment?

ULTIMATELY IT IS ALL ABOUT LOVE

Our time together will ultimately be about love. Bringing (and becoming) this energy on your journey to and through motherhood will change everything. And the world needs more women who conceive, carry, and birth creations made with love—babies or otherwise.

DEFINE LOVE FOR YOURSELF

As we move forward you will have to define love for yourself by deepening your experience of it. 

What you perceive as love today may not be love at all. Love doesn’t always feel good in the moment. It isn’t all about honeymoons and white weddings. Grand gestures or passionate love making. And it certainly isn’t about pleasing others.

I’m no expert but I will often share with you those who are further along on the path of discovering and experiencing different levels of love. Funny enough, I am currently re-reading The Road Less Travelled by Scott Peck. In Section II: Love, he defines love as such: 

“The will to extend’s one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.”

He humbly admits the limitations to his definition as defining love one way is an impossible task. However, it seems fitting today. 

Create your own. Then be willing to tweak and modify it. And be brave enough to destroy all that is not love in your life. 

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ― Joseph Campbell

CONNECT TO LOVE

“Love is the energizing elixir of the Universe, the cause and effect of all harmonies.” – Unknown

How does one connect to the energy of love or above?

Every moment is an opportunity for you to connect to the energy of love or above. 

For one, I believe that it is a conscious choice. To choose to be loving even when love is not felt. To do all things with great love from washing the toilet to folding your clothes. 

“Real love occurs in a context in which the feeling of love is lacking, when we act lovingly despite the fact that we don’t feel loving.” – Scott Peck, The Road Less Travelled

Second, Vipassana meditation and the power of equanimity has taught me the power of love. I will share more about this at a later date, but if you are curious learn more about Vipassana and sign-up for a 10-day course. I cannot recommend it enough!

Lastly, what I love most is a result of pouring myself fully into it. The good, the bad, and the very shitty. And motherhood has been my greatest love.

MOTHERHOOD IS AN ACT OF LOVE

Before becoming having Alicia, my desire to become a mom and my decision to make this a loving priority pushed me to go through the deepest transformation I had ever experienced up until that point. I had to face my demons, see how much my view of love was tainted, learn to love myself, and to do as Rumi, remove the barriers I had built against love.

Becoming a mom deepened my experience of love and I love my daughter with all my heart. One of the reasons for this is that I have showed up and stayed open through the entire experience, not just the “good” stuff. And that has made all the difference. I loved the morning sickness and love the privilege of wiping shit off the floor on my hands and knees, not always in the moment, but it’s doing whatever it takes that makes the “good” gushy moments so worthwhile. 

I’ve literally put sweat, blood, and tears in being the vehicle for my daughter to come into this world. And I love that. 

STAY OPEN

If for any reason you are at a point in your life where you feel like giving up, don’t. Stay open. It is when we want to close our heart most that love’s energy is begging us to connect to it. As Michael Singer writes in The Untethered Soul: 

“When you start to close, just question if you’re really willing to give up your happiness. You should examine what it is inside of you that believes there’s some benefit to closing. The slightest thing happens to you, and you give away your happiness. You were having a great day until someone cut you off on your way to work. It got you really upset and you stayed that way the rest of the day. Why? Dare to ask yourself that question. What good came from letting it ruin your day? There was no benefit.”

KEEP EXPANDING

“Real love is a permanently self-enlarging experience.” – Scott Peck, The Road Less Travelled

Everyday expand your capacity to give and receive love, even if ever so slightly. Tiny acts compound over time.

For now, put on a piece of music you love or simply enjoy sitting in the peaceful silence as I will before Alicia awakens. 

I’ll see you tomorrow!

With love,

Melissa