January 9th, 2:50pm

Entry 6

Dear Aspiring Mama,

Happy Monday! I hope that you had a fabulous weekend and are ready to step into this week wholeheartedly. I sure am. And with that whole heart comes the requirement of vulnerability, openness, and leading with courage. Follow the beat of your own drum and make music with that magical heart of yours. 

If you are feeling nervous, it’s ok. Our time together will challenge you to expand in every way. As you are meant to do. See this expansion as preparation for what your body will do day by day, week by week, month by month during pregnancy. You were born to expand beyond what you think you are capable of. Marvel at your process.

Over the next few days we will cover the 6 Fundamental Principles. Use these as the foundation to build your journey to motherhood. A solid foundation will help you keep your footing even if a storm passes. They will support you as you build the nest for your dream to be laid in. 

These principles are what I needed—and need—to remind myself of regularly. They allowed me to:

• Surrender to the process even when I didn’t want to.
• Honour my needs instead of pleasing others.
• Relax and have fun when I took (and take) myself too seriously.
• Choose love over fear.
• Honour my beautiful rhythm in a world that wants me to do everything but that.
• Unbutton my shirt, release the masculine energy that drove me to burning out and dance naked with my fierce and delicate feminine nature.
• And most importantly, to connect to the divine—within and around me. 

I can’t wait to see what they will provide for you.

Here they are the 6 Fundamental Principles:

1. Focus on you
2. Pleasure not pressure
3. Love or above
4. Honour your natural rhythm
5. Lead with the feminine
6. Trust divine guidance

Today we begin with Principle #1: FOCUS ON YOU.

It’s time to be selfish in the most generous way. Time to unapologetically do what works for you. To honour your needs. To be fearless owning all that you are and are becoming, no matter what others say, think, or do. 

If you were raised to be a “good girl” as I and so many women of our generation were, this will be difficult. You may have forgotten what it truly means to focus on yourself in a generous way. You simply may have never been shown or ever experienced the energy and freedom this creates.

We are also communal beings. It can be challenging to zero-in on our needs without thinking about others. However, if you practice focusing on your needs and honouring them, you will find that the needs of the ones you love are also met.

Let it be a practice. 

You will need to slow down. Check-in before saying YES or NO to anything. Start with invitations, what to watch, wear, eat, see, listen to, etc. Notice what the truest, deepest part of you really wants. 

You’ll need to learn radical honesty—remember we talked about this last week? Keep being honest with yourself. Tell the truth. Then practice matching that with your actions.

This is YOUR journey to motherhood. Focus on YOU.

Sure, it takes two to make a baby —we will talk about calling in your one and aligning your relationship in the future—but know that all that you desire will come with more ease when you are clear about who you are, what you want, why, and how you want to go about it. 

As you learn to honour your needs, you will become better at respecting and honouring others’ needs as well instead of being triggered or manipulative. In fact, focusing on you will become so liberating that you will encourage everyone around you to do the same, even if that means ending a relationship with a man you love who doesn’t share the same vision of family as you do. But chances are, as you focus on yourself and what is true for you, the Universe will respond.

“Be really whole and all things will come to you.” —Lao-Tzu

Everyday, crank up the volume of your inner wisdom and shut out the voices from the outside world. This includes—and is not limited to your:

• Spouse (current or the one you are calling in)
• Children (born or unborn)
• Parents (we will deal with your mommy and daddy issues another time)
• Friends (even if it seems that everyone is pregnant or hang with a crowd that is anti having kids in this crazy world)
• Boss (who slides subtle messages that having kids would ruin your career or encourages you to “lean in” the day after your cat dies)
• Community (who you may or may not feel connected to)
• Cultural influence (If you’re Canadian as I am, stop apologizing for everything incessantly.)
• Religious constructs (that may or may not be out of alignment with your own spirit)
• Etc.

Now ask yourself:

• What do you really want?
• Who do you feel you are destined to become?
• How do you want to live your one precious and amazing life?
• How do you want to create your journey to motherhood?

“When we have arrived at the question, the answer is already near” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do not worry if the answers to these questions are not yet clear. We will explore these together. For now, let them plant seeds in your heart. What grows may surprises and delight you. It may also throw you for a spin. But I promise that what blooms will be beautiful.

Tend to your own garden. Not someone else’s. Once you bloom you will light up the world with your beauty without even trying. Surrender, allow, trust.

I leave with this, 

What one thing could you do today as an act of radical self-acceptance, love, and respect? 

It might be something small like eating your favourite bowl of cereal for dinner. Or something big like calling your best friend and letting her know that you have been out of integrity and that you do not feel comfortable being her maid of honour. 

Remember: tell the truth, first to yourself, then to others. Focus on you mama.

With love,

Melissa