What comes up for you when I use become a mom and confidence in the same sentence?

Does it feel strange?

Shouldn’t it be a given that women who wish to become mothers feel confident?

Is it unfortunately not the reality for many women dreaming of becoming mamas?

Well, my dear aspiring mama, you are in the right place. Because today I am going to give your aspiring mama heart a confidence boost!

As a result, you will leave feeling inspired and empowered as I share with you 10 practical ways to boost confidence as you walk along your path to motherhood!

This is going to be FUN! You ready?

OUR 3 POINTS OF VIEWS

Before we dive in, let’s break things down. We are going to look at becoming a mom and confidence from the point of views of goal-setting, communication, and environment.

More specifically:

1. We are going to look at why your desire to become a mom is a worthy goal. It’s perfect.
2. How we speak about motherhood. Why it often sucks. And how to change it.
3. What pulling out weeds has to do with your desire to become a mom.

01 | YOUR DESIRE TO BECOME A MOM IS A WORTHY GOAL. IT’S PERFECT.

I have been setting goals since I was a kid and I know what it is like to pour my heart and soul into the realization of one.

I always knew that I wanted to become a mom yet whenever I’d write it down as one of my goals, it felt weird. As if I was supposed to know how to do it or that this shouldn’t be a goal but rather something that just happens in one’s life.

It took some time before I realized that my dream of becoming a mom could be transformed into one of my top priorities and goals. That I could treat it as such, with a different approach than the “get it done at all cost” and more of a “I’ve got the creative life force within me and I’m going to embody my desire” kind of way.

Still, it felt weird. As if I could only share this goal once I was actually doing it. Pun intended. But this idea that you already had to be in the process of realizing your goal before talking about it wasn’t the one I had been applying with my other goals. I often set goals without having any idea how they would happen or be anywhere close to them becoming a reality.

Why couldn’t I be met with the same kind of support and cheer for my goal of becoming a mom as I had experienced with others? There were countless goals that people were encouraged to prepare and plan for:

Want to start your own business? Great!

There are plenty of books, podcasts, websites, and events to help you get clear on your “Why”, create the vision, define your brand’s values and beliefs, and become a badass even before you actually start your business. 

Thinking of running a marathon? Cool!

There are numerous free training programs to help you prepare even if your only experience running is after the bus in heels.

Want to travel to Bali? Awesome!

People will give you tips, itinerary suggestions, best time to go, and even connect you with their second cousin who went there before Eat, Prey, Love was a hit.

There are resources for when your goal is just an idea, before you sign up for a race, or haven’t yet booked your ticket. 

However, tell people that you want to become a mom and it seems that resources come up only once you’re in aisle 6 of the drug store looking at a wall of pregnancy tests.

Enter an overwhelming amount of information regarding what to expect, parenting tips, which kind of diapers are best, and so so so much more.

Can you imagine what a world we would live in if women were encouraged to give as much thought, love, and energy to the preparation of becoming a mom as we do other goals? 

Not only do I believe that women would enjoy healthier pregnancies, we would see a significant positive impact on women’s mental health postpartum, better relationships, and children who are raised consciously with more love, grace, patience, compassion, and, wait for it, FUN!

Make it a priority.

02 | THE WAY WE SPEAK ABOUT MOTHERHOOD OFTEN SUCKS. LETS CHANGE THAT BECAUSE WORDS MATTER.

When it comes to talking about wanting to becoming a mom, the words used often suck the life right out of our dream. (And in my opinion, play a role in creating a protective barrier around our womb instead of a shining light of love and fertile vibes)

Has anyone ever said the following to you?

• “Don’t worry about becoming a mom” and you began worrying instead of standing proud in the fact that motherhood is something you feel called to viscerally.
• “It will happen on its own” when you were seriously starting to wonder if it might happen at all.
• “You’ll figure it out” when you were genuinely hoping for insight and support instead of feeling alone.
• “You’ve got plenty of time. Focus on your career.” But the fact is that you feel like time is running out and the window to grow your career continues long after the window to have children closes.
• “It will ruin your life.” No joke. A client of mine told me that these words were said to her. My jaw dropped.

How did it make you feel?

How have these words impacted you?

I often cried when faced with dismissive comments like these. I felt that my desire for becoming a mom wasn’t “good enough” or a worthy goal to talk about. So I changed the way I talked about it (or simply didn’t talk about it) and it never felt quite right. Until I learned to treat my call to motherhood with the love and respect that it deserved.

Becoming a mom was part of my dharma and I stopped pretending otherwise.

Here’s how to remove the barrier and stand proudly in your desire to become a mom when met with verbal resistance:

You can’t control what people say or do. But, you can control how you respond. Focusing on you is one of the 6 fundamental principles to anchor into on your journey to motherhood.

Instead of saying nothing when met with resistance or comments that feel dismissive, rude, or that simply reflect a lack of understanding, get curious. Ask the person why they are saying what they are saying. Give them the space to express themselves that you wish they would provide for you.

Practice sharing how important becoming a mom is to you. Speak your truth. Tell them how what they have said makes you feel. For example:

“Can I share with you how what you just said makes me feel?” (Its often worth asking for permission instead of sharing with someone who isn’t willing to listen.)

“When you tell me not to worry about becoming a mom, it breaks my heart. I am not worried—although sometimes I have thought I might be. Truth is, becoming a mom is really important to me and I simply need to: feel supported/encouraged/heard/validated/etc” (insert what you need)

“Why do you think that having children will ruin my life? What makes you say that? You may not realize it, but saying that really hurts as I am not trying to ruin my life, I am hoping to bring a new one into this world while living mine.”

Play around with what feels right for you. You might want to write a few responses out to prepare yourself.

When I worked in restaurants I would speak to hundreds of people each week and practicing on invasive clients was a great way to express my truth while also providing service with a smile!

First towards yourself. As you continue on your journey to becoming a mom, you may remember things that were said to you in the past and wish that you had said something to stand your ground, be gentle with yourself. You are a continuously evolving human being doing life for the first time and most women today were raised to be “good girls.” Meaning that speaking up wasn’t necessarily encouraged.

Practice compassion towards others. Those who share words that hurt may not even know the impact these have on you. You have the responsibility to teach others how you want to be treated and to do so in a respectful way. Be the change around how we speak to aspiring mothers about motherhood.

As emotions arise, feel them all. It’s ok to feel sad, mad, frustrated, etc.

Feel it all.

Let it go.

Keep going.

03 | CREATE FERTILE GROUND & SURROUND YOURSELF WITH INSPIRING SOURCES ON YOUR WAY TO MOTHERHOOD

Picture your desire for becoming a mom as a sacred garden.

You have all the seeds already planted within you (aka eggs).

You wish to plant these in an environment that is clean, beautiful, harmonious, and fertile (aka your mind, body, spirit, and environment).

Your partner provides the fertilizer and tends to the garden with you. (If you don’t yet have a partner, check out Calling In The One by Katherine Woodward Thomas)

Before you plant the seeds, you must prepare the soil. Pull out the weeds. Make sure that the conditions are right. Then plant, fertilize, let nature do the rest.

Which brings us to Tip #7…

Surround yourself with people who will support you. Think of your journey to becoming a mom as the “pre-trimester.” Treat it just as sacred as you would the 1st trimester of a pregnancy. Protect your dream. Take care of yourself. Rest. Share your happy news with those who will send positive energy for your baby dreams to come to life!

Creating Fertile Ground is one of the key concepts that we explore in the Create Your Motherhood Program. To boost confidence on your journey to becoming a mom it’s important to pull out the weeds in your life: the people, places, and things that hinder your growth and thriving.

You don’t need to completely change your life, but you might need to make some tough decisions in order for your garden to flourish.

Cut out toxic relationships, thought patterns, and habits. The big and little things matter here. Be ruthless. Tend to your garden.

You don’t have to do this alone. And as much as having a support system made up of family, friends, and colleagues is important, having someone who will hold sacred space and guide you in going deeper into your desire in order to make it come to life will provide a level of transformation that could take you years to achieve on your own.

Of course I am biased as I am a Life Coach but I also speak from experience here.

When I was in my early 30s an amazing woman, mindset mentor, and coach; Ellie Ballentine, changed my life forever.

Ellie held space for me to share why becoming a mom was so important to me. She listened as I fully expressed my heart’s (and womb’s) desires. She opened up my perspective and changed the way I looked at motherhood FOR-EVER!

I wouldn’t be writing this post or writing a book dedicated to aspiring mamas or leading the Create Your Motherhood Program were it not for the ONE conversation that I had with Ellie back in May 2016. That conversation was the catalyst for a series of transformative events that guided me to truly taking my desire for motherhood seriously and in turn lead me to where I am today.

I hope to do for you what Ellie did for me:

• Provide you with a safe space for you to be seen, heard, and supported.
• Guide you on your journey to and through motherhood.
• Cheer you on.
• Change the way you view the expression of motherhood in your life NOW and forever.

One person could change everything for you. It could be with me or someone else. Whatever you choose, please open yourself up to support from professionals who have tools and provide insights beyond what the media or medical profession might be able to provide.

Your support team doesn’t have to be limited to people you have in your contact list. Get on social media. Find some inspiring moms or moms-to-be. Connect with them. Get inspired by them. Surround yourself with what’s possible.

Add photos to your vision board that align with your vision of motherhood fulfilled. I did this for years and taking photos like the ones below make the hairs on my arms stand. They were once but a wish, a dream, a vision. They are now my reality and could be yours too.

THERE YOU HAVE IT! 10 tips to boost confidence on your journey to becoming a mom!

Treat your desire as a worthy goal. Change the way you talk (and are spoken to) about it. Surround yourself with inspiring sources.

Which tip resonates most with you? Leave a comment below!

YOU’VE GOT THIS MAMA! AND I’VE GOT YOU TOO!

Join me Tuesday August 17th for 2 special webinars for Aspiring Mamas.

Choose your preferred time: 10am or 8pm eastern *convert to your time zone here*

These are absolutely free and and honour for me to guide!

During these powerful conversations we will cover:

• How to create a safe space for your motherhood journey.
• How to transform the pesky “will I ever become a mom?” question into your secret ammunition for confidence.
• What I wish I knew before becoming a mom.
• What I am glad I did before.
• Tips & practical advice to support you in making the most of your journey no matter where you are starting from!

We will also review the upcoming Create Your Motherhood Program that begins in September! I’ll be offering a an exciting special offer for those attending the webinar!

But don’t worry, whether you are interested in joining the program or not, I PROMISE that this will be a conversation you will never forget!

I am SO excited and I cannot wait!

See you on Tuesday!

PS: My daughter, Alicia may join us for the 10am session.

You may also enjoy:

From Aspiring Mama To “Soon-To-Be”

Want To Become A Mom? Start With These 6 Principles

How To Deal When Hopelessness & Fear Creep In

Alicia’s Birth Story

Shop items mentioned in this article:

Calling in “The One”: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life